Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
Added by Lucian Velea
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I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

quote by Mitch Hedberg
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