I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

quote by Fran Lebowitz
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