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Tom Lehrer

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

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Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

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When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

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I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

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An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

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Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

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Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

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If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.

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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

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