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Joan Rivers

Never floss with a stranger.

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Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

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Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

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I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

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Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

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