I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

quote by Joan Rivers
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

quote by Joan Rivers
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Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

quote by Joan Rivers
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

quote by Joan Rivers
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It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

quote by Joan Rivers
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

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Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

quote by Joan Rivers
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

quote by Joan Rivers
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