You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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