Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
quote by David Letterman
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It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
quote by David Letterman
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New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
quote by David Letterman
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USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
quote by David Letterman
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The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
quote by David Letterman
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I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
quote by David Letterman
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Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
quote by David Letterman
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Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.
quote by David Letterman
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Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.
quote by David Letterman
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Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
quote by David Letterman
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