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David Letterman

There is no off position on the genius switch.

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For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

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Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

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I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

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I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

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Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!

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Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

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I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

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New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

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Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

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David Letterman
David Letterman