Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

quote by Groucho Marx
Added by Lucian Velea
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

quote by Groucho Marx
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

quote by Groucho Marx
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

quote by Groucho Marx
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

quote by Groucho Marx
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I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it.

quote by Groucho Marx
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

quote by Groucho Marx
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

quote by Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

quote by Groucho Marx
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

quote by Groucho Marx
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