I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ""learning experience."" Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a ""learning experience."" It makes me feel less stupid.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Killing innocent people by surprise is not called "a thousand points of light." But, as frightening as terrorism is, it's the weapon of losers. The minute somebody sets off a suicide bomb, you can be sure that person doesn't have "career prospects." And no matter how horrendous a terrorist attack is, it's still conducted by losers.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
The preamble to the Constitution states We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare... It doesn't say guarantee the general welfare. And it certainly doesn't say give welfare benefits to all the people in the country who aren't doing so well even if the reason they aren't doing so well is because they're sitting on their butts in front of the TV.
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!