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Ogden Nash

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

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The Fly

God in his wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.

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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

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The Cow

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

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I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

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Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

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Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

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Celery

Celery, raw
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.

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I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

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