The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

quote by Dennis Miller
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Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

quote by Dennis Miller
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The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

quote by Dennis Miller
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The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

quote by Dennis Miller
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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

quote by Dennis Miller
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

quote by Dennis Miller
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If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.

quote by Dennis Miller
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We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

quote by Dennis Miller
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We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

quote by Dennis Miller
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