In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

quote by Will Durst
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I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

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It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point.

quote by Will Durst
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I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

quote by Will Durst
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Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.

quote by Will Durst
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How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.

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Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars.

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There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

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Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

quote by Will Durst
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