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Will Cuppy

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

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Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

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Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

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It's easy to see the faults in people I know; it's hardest to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.

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If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

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Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

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If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

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I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country.

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The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

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