The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.
Because of Mozart, it's all over after the age of seven.
Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.
Being a grownup means assuming responsibility for yourself, for your children, and - here's the big curve - for your parents.
No matter how lonely you get or how many birth announcements you receive, the trick is not to get frightened. There's nothing wrong with being alone.
Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, respect me, I'm a respectable grown-up, and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death.