The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.
To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.
It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.
I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I'm delighted when she gets to it.
We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.
I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat; he looked very calm, you'd give him money, and he'd give you something that you wanted to buy.
I think doing comedy is more difficult than doing noncomedic or tragic or whatever you want to call it. Because it's difficult to make all kinds of different audiences understand what you're doing, and moving you to laughter.