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Victoria George

My New Caravan

I bought a nice car-a-van
From a seller who was on e-Bay
He seemed a very nice man
So I was happy to take it away

I towed it back home with some glee
And then thought that I heard a shout
So I opened it up with the key
And a family of gypsies came out

They robbed everyone in the street
Their litter was thrown every-where
The kids ran around in bare feet
Causing havoc - but just didn’t care

I thought up a good cunning plan
I waited till they were in bed
I then drove my new car-a-van
And tipped it right off Beachy Head!

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Wimbledon

I used to love Wimbledon so
With Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe
Now it’s just a big pain
With gals from the Ukraine
They’re all interchangeable now

The game used to have lots of zest
Not just about who played it best
It was pure TV delight
To watch them all fight
But with such - a lot of finesse

Borg wore the Wimbledon crown
McEnroe threw his racket around
Becker’s joy when he won
Nastase’s sense of fun
While Connors was centre court clown

Pat Cash (for me) caused a foul
When he blew his nose on his towel

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A Chocolate Teapot

I wanted a chocolate tea-pot
As a gift for a good friend’s birth-day
But I did feel a bit of a clot
Searching for this on e-Bay

I found a chocolate giraffe
And a chocolate kangaroo
But they wouldn’t give her the laugh
That a chocolate teapot would do

I decided to make one myself
And bought a huge Galaxy slab
Very bad for the general health
But for my plan was perfectly fab

I fashioned it into a pot
Melting it using some heat
Using kettle and water so hot
It really was quite a feat

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