At one point he decided enough was enough.

quote by Steven Wright
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

quote by Steven Wright
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The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

quote by Steven Wright
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Black holes are where God divided by zero.

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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

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If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

quote by Steven Wright
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

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On the other hand, you have different fingers.

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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

quote by Steven Wright
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