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Stephen Colbert

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

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I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

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Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

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Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

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I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.

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In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.

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You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.

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In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

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