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Stephen Andrews

Chocolate is As chocolate does

jay walking is a useful past-time
it keeps motorists on their toes
naturist resorts are under-rated
patchwork chique is the new vogue


golf is best played in the dark
in between clandestine vigils
dogs keep your crap out of the park
that's where I masticate on my Happy Meal


one left shoe can be deployed
by many a one-legged left foot shoe-wearer
genetic experiments with ducks and builders
only result in new careers for bare-assed web-footed wrestlers


candyfloss should never be mistaken for a beard
there will come a time when you realise you're not deceiving anyone

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