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Spike Milligan

Go North, South, East, and West, Young Man

Drake is going west, lads
So Tom is going East
But tiny Fred
Just lies in bed,
The lazy little beast.

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There Are Holes In The Sky

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in
But there ever so small
That's why the rain is thin.

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For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

Spike Milligan in The GoonsReport problemRelated quotes
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I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

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So Fair is She

So fair is she!
So fair her face
So fair her pulsing figure

Not so fair
The maniacal stare
Of a husband who's much bigger.

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I Must Go Down To The Sea Again

I must go down to the sea again,
to the lonely sea and the sky;
I left my shoes and socks there -
I wonder if they're dry?

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My Sister Laura

My sister Laura's bigger than me
And lifts me up quite easily.
I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;
She must have something heavy inside.

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And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

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Down The Stream The Swans All Glide

Down the stream the swans all glide;
It's quite the cheapest way to ride.
Their legs get wet,
Their tummies wetter:
I think after all
The bus is better

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Bump

Things that go 'bump' in the night
Should not really give one a fright.
It's the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!

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