Daylight Dreamer
Here's the half-finished painting of a girl that I started last December
Here's the first three pages of my novel bout I don't really remember
Here's my Martin guitar that I never quite learned how to play
That's the daylight dreamer wishful thinker's way
I had a Harley bike but I traded it off to a feller
For the Astroglass boat that's still sittin down in my cellar
I bought a tape recorder and found I had nothin' to say
That's the daylight dreamer wishful thinker's way
I got an exercise machine man I'd be glad to let you try it
This well it's a Leika Camera maybe you'd like to buy it
I can get you a real good deal
I just need enough money to buy myself some modeling clay
Yeah that's the daylight dreamer wishful thinker's way
On the day that I die they'll be talking about the dearly departed
And they'll say he never ever finished nothin' that he started
But I started this song man I'm gonna finish it today
Yeah that's the daylight dreamer
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Bigtime
Hey dragged up my holly and I pull it to a town for the bigtime
Hey rig down the road I tore 'em down I'm a bigtime
I wheeled right in them swinging doors
Out through the window with half of that store
Everybody stopped and roared here comes Bigtime
Lemme grab me a bottle when I bit off a tap cause I'm bigtime
I do a 90 miles an hour in this speedin' trap and that's bigtime
I rolled up the telephone pole and then I kissed 15 women fought 16 men
I thought I'd start over again for another bigtime
And then a cop come up he said I see you've been enjoyin' quite a bigtime yeah
But you got to pay for what have been destroyed Mr Bigtime
I told that cop you better cut right out
Cause you're a little bitty man I'm a great big trout
I swung at him and the lights went out on my bigtime
Hey here I am coolin' in the country slam and this is the bigtime
The judge didn't believe how imprtant I am he gave me bigtime
And in the bunk above me there is a poor tempted soul
He shot his wife cause she sneezed untold
Hope he didn't catch cold here in the bigtime
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan
The morning sun touched lightly on
The eyes of Lucy Jordan
In her white suburban bedroom
In a white suburban town,
As she lay there 'neath the covers,
Dreaming of a thousand lovers,
Till the world turned to orange
And the room went spinning 'round.
At the age of 37
She realized she'd never ride
Through Paris in a sports car
With the warm wind in her hair.
So she let the phone keep ringing
As she sat there, softly singing
Little nursery rhymes she'd memorized
In her daddy's easy chair.
Her husband is off to work,
And the kids are off to school,
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Beans Taste Fine
Now a friend of mine, way back in Chicago
You know, he finally made his pile.
Well he got himself a mansion on Butler and Sheff
An' he was livin' in the latest style;
But I run into him, he was eatin' in a greasy spoon
While parkled in front was his big limousine.
I said, 'Buddy, you've got so much money
How come youre in here, eatin' beans?'
An' he said
'After you've been havin' steak for a long time,
Beans, beans taste fine.
An' after you've been drinkin' champagne and brandy
You gonna settle for wine.'
He said 'The world is funny, and people are strange,
And man is a creature of constant change, and
After you've been havin' steak for a long time
Beans, beans taste fine.'
Now, you know I ran into another friend of mine
In a rowdy old Clark Street Bar.
I said, 'Friend, is it true what I heard about you?
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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My Mind Keeps Movin’
Walk into a restaurant with chicken on my mind
Look at the menu I want roastbeaf and wine
A waitress comes up I order baked beans and bread
Oh when she brings it I want ham'n eggs instead
Because my mind keeps a movin' bouncin' and a groovin'
A flippin' floppin' every whichaway
From minute to minute if my mind ain't really in it
Never know just what I'm do or say
Sometimes I wake up happy sometimes I wake up mean
Sometimes I wake up missin' somethin' I ain't seen
Might wake up wasted and I might wake up dead
Might wake up and look around and jump back into bed
Because my mind keeps a movin'...
[ guitar ]
Sittin' home at midnight thinkin' bout Marie go to the phone I dial Carol Lee
I say come by babe just as fast as you can
And when she gets there I'm thinkin' bout Ann
Because my mind keeps a movin'...
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Pathetic Way Of Getting Over Me
Oh if you read in the papers that she's been seen
A gettin' in an out of some millionare's long custom made limousine
She may fool you with her smile but I can see
That's just her poor hopeless heartless helpless pathetic way of gettin' over me
So you were down at Joe's on the night she broke her zipper
And some wane brain drunk champagne out of her slipper
And she danced on the piano and she screamed hurray I'm free
That's just her poor hopeless heartless helpless pathetic way of gettin' over me
Oh she'll do anything she can just to make me jealous
Of course forgettin' me is gonna take her lots of years
So I call her now and then just out of pitty when she laughs at me
That's just her way of bravely holding back her tears
What's that you say she got married oh the poor little fool
To some handsome movie star with the mansion and a swimming pool
And she's looking good and she's got a kid or two or three
That's just her poor hopeless heartless helpless pathetic way of gettin' over me
(Pathetic way of tryin' to get over me but she ain't never gonna make it honey
I mean those guys those guys you see her with now
They're they're the relatives maybe business assiciates
I mean I know this woman and she's sittin' home bitin' her fingernails
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Diet Song
Well breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam
Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham
Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die
So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me straight up the wall
And I'm think' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake
And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream and
I'm starvin' to death when I wake all for your sake
You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes
But it's bouillon and water for me and you got a lock on the refrigerator
Lord knows where you're hidin' the key
And while I am starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for lovin' from you
But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be glad to look at it too
So supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some beefsteak the size of a nail
One sliced tomato a small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jail
Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl that's the least you can do
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Hoodoo Voodoo Lady
Yeah hoodoo voodoo lady cast up your voodoo vision
Let me know where did my baby go where did my lovin' baby go
Hoodoo voodoo lady shake your black cat tooth and your mojo bone
And bring my baby home bring my baby back home yeah
I know she didn't go up to New York City
She thinks that New York City is a little too pretty
I know she didn't go to sunny California
For she thinks that California is a little too phoney
I don't think she went up to north Alaska
She'd've told me cept I might forgot to ask her
And I don't think she went to east St Louis
But she might've gone to China for a little Chop Suey
Wherever she is I'm gonna run right there with you just tell me where
Hoodoo voodoo lady make me a doll that I can stick with pins
So that I can win my baby back again
(Yeah c'mon do somethin' weird and mystical...)
[ guitar ]
Yeah I don't think I'll find her in the Okefenokee
Cause the Okefenokee is too wet and smoky
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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I'm My Own Grandpa
It was many many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow, she's as pretty as can be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red,
my father fell in lover with her, and soon these two were wed.
I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds silly, I know, but it really is so, oh
I'm my own grandpa.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life:
My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife.
And then to complicate the matter, though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
This bouncing baby then became a brother-in-law to dad,
and so became my uncle, though it made me very sad,
for if he was my uncle then he also was the brother
of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my step-mother.
I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa.
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Man Who Got No Sign
Ko-we-ha Gemini Jim taw Scorpio Salo
Taw sejno-nej-o-to-kono o-ha-na-shi-te-saw
There was Gemini Jim and Scorpio Sal they was livin' by the Golden Gate
Freezin' their nose and wearin' leather clothes and dealin' every way but straight
They had a Leo dog and a Capricorn cat and everything was goin' fine
Until into their life on a moonless night come the man who got no sign
He roared right in like some evil wind and he rolled himself a righteous smoke
As the thunder scrashed and the lightenin' flashed he took a toke and a spoke
Said he was born in an astrological warp when the stars refused to shine
On the cusp of Nowhere and Nevermore he's the man that got no sign
Then he told a story of an endless search to find his missin' part
And Scorpio Sal she smiles at him tries to do his chart
But the Pisces Ben who was Jim's best friend aaid man you must be blind
You better grab your knife and take the life of the man who'd got no sign
And so it happened and his blood run soaked the ground
The arrest was made by Sheriff Slade and Aquarius thru and thru
But the jailer was a Sagittarius so he beat Jim black and blue
And then they dragged him up to the courthouse stairs they said Jim how do you plea
He said man the moon's in Virgo so the blame don't fall on me
Well the jury all was the Libras so you know they was more than fair
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poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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