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Sandy Vanity

Bullet

I feel the emotion
fact and
thought
sinking into my brain slowly
as the river of blood rushes so fast
my hearts dropp and hit the water
they smash and break open
no other pain as bad as the one you set
my memories are triggered like a gun in my head
as the bullet goes through it makes puncture marks in everything you said
as my wrists bleed i think of you
you are the reason im still here
but my emptyness gets bigger everyday

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Happenings

it wasnt my fault
i tried to resist but he didnt stop
and i do cry
its so hard
what could i do?
he was bigger then me
im small and couldnt push him off
i told him to stop but it didnt work
he got to hot and stopped
i had a smoke then left
as i walked home
all i could think about was what happened
it wasnt my fault
im a tiney little girl
and he was a strong man
i couldnt stop him
im not that strong
i told him no
i pushed myself away
i tried to escape but

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The Finding

you found me broken and bleeding
left to die in the middle of the floor
you walked through my blood
mended my heart and helped me up
you put a bandana around my bleeding wrists
you held my hand as we walked through the mist
crushed and broken my world was
everything you touched darkend and died
thats the way i like it
you brought my blood red moon and river back
and my dead trees and black roses
surprise surprise my world is dark again
it makes me happy to know that you care
to know that you love me
and want me cause i love it when you stare

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Lost You

you were my best friend
we laughed
we talked
we played and smiled
what happend?
why did you leave me this way
looking at your toumb stone is so hard
why did you do it
you left me a message
which red:
dear sandy im so sorry for this
i know you will understand
things have gottin really hard
i just cant do it anymore
i love you my friend
i have to go my arms are bleeding
and im dying love you always bye
so when i red it my heart jumped and pounded
i miss you i wish i could have helped
i tried so hard to stop you i failed

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The Pain Inside

My heart has died
theres a pain inside
my stomach aches
my head pounds
and my wrists bleed when no ones around
i dont know why its there
this pain hurts so bad i cry some times
not wanting to see day
nore wanting to be around
its like im in a black hole
falling till i hit the ground
my tears fall like fresh red blood
i shake as if i am cold
my eyes are dark as i sit thinking
your memory runs through my head
STOP my heart screams as i slow down
my heart slows
the shaking stops
everything freezes
but my mind still thinks of you

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Addicted

Im addicted to his kiss
and the way he touches my body softly
running his hands all over my body
im addicted to his giggle and laugh
his hugs make me feel safe
i wish he could hold me forever
as i stoud outside
in the rain with my smoke
staring up at the sky
our song escaped my lips
slowly and quietly
i wanted to cry cuz i missed him so
but i couldnt all i could do was think
as the rain fell heavier
i began to think more
im addicted to him
his body
his voice
his everything
all i crave is him

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All I Want

all i want is you
to have you hold me
an kiss me like you do
it makes me smile when you say you love me
cause i know its true
the way you touched me
and the way you smell thats what i think about
its what i do cuz i love you
no matter what we go through
no matter what ppl try to do
i love you an all i want is you
my deep feelings for you
will never change
i remember laying
in your arms watching the stars
you so beautiful lying with me
holding me tight to your body
i miss you so much even when your beside me
its hard not to worry
to think

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The Falling

Sitting in the darkness of my room
i cant wait to talk to you
to hear about your day
and to tell you of mine
i know you love me
but some times it hurts
you feel so distant never as befor
all the nights we spend together
wanting more
when im beside you i feel like im home
but when your not here i feel so alone
i wonder what your thinking
all the bleeding and the fighting is all part of it
but no matter how bad it gets im never letting you go
i made a promise and im keeping it
never letting us slip through my fingers
because the feeling of love lingers
as butterflys fill me stomach every time your around
and when i hear your voice the moste beautiful sound

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Super Girl

I am not a normal girl in many ways but the one that stands out is the most birdin of them all
people talk normaly to me cuz they need answers
i cant solve something or stop somethings but i try anyway
i feel like the dark super girl
the one who everyone wants help from
cuz they know that even if its not possable i will still try
i wonder if i will ever get to be plain me
instead of being stuck inside a medaforical superhero body
every day i wonder whats battle i will have to fight next
and how long it will go for
i feel like im the dark super girl the one who never rests
and the one who craves a solution to every problem and no matter how big, small, possable or impossable it is will try

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Dream and Reality

I had a dream of a blood red moon in a dark sky with metalic star's
what a beautiful sight, but not as beautiful as the way you are inside and out, i never thought id be able to see you in a world so you beautiful. The world i created was more beautiful when you showed up. The sunlight was gone and my world was broken but patched and sowen and the black blind fold that covered my sorrow filled eyes was lifted by you gental hands.
I had a nightmare with my world burning and you no where in sight and now i am broken an bleeding, my blind fold i must tie around my bleeding sorrow filled eyes as i am alone till one day someone new shall enter or you shall returne and when i awake i realise my nightmare is reality.

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