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Russell Baker

Americans like fat books and thin women.

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In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

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You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

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Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.

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Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

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In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

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Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

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Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

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Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

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Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

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