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RosaLee Marybeth

The River and The Rain

The flowing, twisting, murky ways of a river flowing of an eternal grace.
Healing powers drench the desert heart until you feel as if you are falling apart.
The rain pours down your distorted face and melts until you can see the grace.
It keeps on falling.
It keeps on falling.
It keeps on falling.

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Suicidal Passion

Deep in the dark of night
creeps the stalker of the high
Consuming all who pay the toll
Leaving you with a gaping hole
The depth of the intensity is oh too much
But it still has me right in his clutch
The passion of the soul
is worth more than you'll ever know
You have captured mine
but never again will I just take a dime
Please, I beg, give it back again
Now I am left with my lonely friends

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The Pearl Of Guilt

Shame and Pain
fall down like rain
drenching the soul of another Insane

Falling, bawling
the girl once did
screams in the night is when she ran and hid

Wallowing, swallowing
the guilt and the tears
is something she did for all of her years

Quiet, muffled
oh are her words
disturbing they were, but they only were hers

Gone, past
alone in this world
she could not dream of even a single pearl

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Daisies Pushing Up Roses

“I’m pushing up daisies, but I wish they were roses.”
I am a doormat, and everyone knows it.
The pain I’ve felt through the years.
The pain I’ve dealt with has caused me fear.

How could someone hurt someone else on purpose?
Then leave them aside feeling worthless.
They leave lasting scares on your heart.
The words that hurt make you feel like your falling apart.

You’re taking life away from an innocent child.
What did you do grow up in the wild?
All the words, all the pain, make me want to walk in the rain.

The tears I’ve cried.
The times I wished that I had died are all now going to be put aside.

I’m pushing up daisies, but that’s okay.
The sun will come up soon.
There will be a new day.

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A Hole In The Soul Of Depth

Soul why do you cry out?
In the depth of despair you don't even care-
even if they dare to speak to you...
dare to talk, walk, and share the breath of fresh air with you.
Soul you cry out, yet you do not answer to the beckoning of the caller.
You do not respond to the death of your soul-
losing blood at every waking moment.
In the quiet still of the night you scream once again, but your forever friend
is no longer there in the end...
for that night you did not only bend but you broke again.
You broke of your passions, morals, standards, and love.
You broke of your mercy, spirit, compassion, and your tenderness...
tenderness to understand and not command.
Tenderness to love and not judge.
Tenderness to withstand all life's demands without sinking in the sand and holding your love's left hand.
That part of your soul is gone.
Your soul is beyond hope-
beyond restoration...but only self medication in response to your frustration.
Now it is only devastation...
in response to the hole of your soul.

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Little Lamb You Don't Understand

My little one. My little one, where have you gone?
You have left the flock, and you say your too far gone.
My little one. My little one, where are you now?
You say life isn't easy, but neither was my crown.
My little one. My little one, are you coming back to stay?
That is my one desire. What I hope for and what I pray.
My little one. My little one, lift up your face.
You see my house, my kingdom is all made of grace.
There is no need to hide and be filled with your past mistakes.
For my love never changes...there may be pain tonight, but there will be a new day filled with joy come the new morn.
Is that not the reason of which you were born?
There is no need to be in morning any longer because I have made you stronger.
My love for you lasts longer than the rain falling on you, than the pain you feel everyday, the times where there seems to be nothing left to do than go insane.
You are my child, my daughter, and my princess.
You deserve far more than what you give yourself.
You deserve a perfect love, a true love, and to understand that I am the reason that you breathe and that I am all you need.
Just come to me...draw near to me.
Let me pick you up daughter, and dust you off.
Let me put you on my knee, and listen to your pleas for freedom and your sanity.
For I can only fulfill your need, and only I can hear all your pleas... the ones you vocalize and the ones you don't.

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Lost

I see you in my mind’s eye. I see you and you are about to cry. I see you in the dark, as you walk along the park. I see you and you are blind. All you try to do is search and find. I see you, and I see you face. Oh how I miss your sweet embrace. I see you and I see the cold. You don’t even know how much I want to hold you. I see you, I see your hair all curly blond, but I do not dare to go beyond. I stand back and watch you fall. Those are the times I missed most of all. I see you in my thoughts. I see you cry out sitting in your box. I see you and I cannot do anything. So I pray for you to see life’s perfect ending. I see you, and I see your pain, as you dance outside in the rain. I see you, and I see you sick. Pickles and cheese oh how you want just a lick. I see you and I see you in the bark of a tree but I am just out of reach. I try and stretch like when we played catch, but I am not even close enough yet. I cry out, “Dear God where is he? ” In a whisper I hear “come find me.” This time though I cannot see you. This time I cannot find you, you are lost.
One day I hope to find you. One day I hope He will unbind you. One day, in the faint sigh of the wind, you will be my forever friend. One day I will see you not just in my mind’s eye, but I will actually see you cry. One day, one glorious, day your pain that you feel will slowly drift a w a y. One day you will beat the odds and stop building with logs and hopping after frogs. You are the best of the best and I know you will pass every test. Even if you have to guess you will always be my brother. No matter what happened with our mother. I will see you and you will see me, and we will all be happy can’t you see. We will eat, “sunshine and rainbows, ” and dance with butterflies and mangos as we sit under the shade tree beneath the summer sun.
This is my dream for the lost John.

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I Look At You

I look at you...
I look at you in the mirror and say to myself 'what happened? '
'Why are you the way you are? '
The image speaks back I just can't hear the words.
I try to listen or read the lips of the girl I don't know, but she is talking too fast.
I look at you...
Your hair and teeth- your eyes that speak.
The eyes 'have it' and I see the twisted tails* of a young girl tattered and torn blistered and worn.
I look at you...
I see beauty and hate and the times you were late- wishing, wishing it wouldn't happen again not now, not ever, not tomorrow...
she is filled with such sorrow.
I look at you...
dancing in the rain. without the pain of him ever hurting you again.
I see the tears of joy and loss swell up but not a dropp rolls down your cheek because you feel that is weak.
I look at you...
I see you playing hopscotch, and a smooth stone lands on anger and depression and your stuck on the squares of chained sidewalk chalk.
I look at you...
I see your knees how they are bruised. Why does a child ever need abuse?
I see your hands if only time wasn't going like grains of sand.
I look at you...

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