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Ron White

My goal is just to become a better comedian.

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The next time you have a thought... let it go.

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Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.

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I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.

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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

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I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

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I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.

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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

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