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Rodney Dangerfield

Life is just a bowl of pits.

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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

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I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

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