Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

quote by Robert Orben
Added by Lucian Velea
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

quote by Robert Orben
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

quote by Robert Orben
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

quote by Robert Orben
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Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

quote by Robert Orben
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

quote by Robert Orben
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More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

quote by Robert Orben
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Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

quote by Robert Orben
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

quote by Robert Orben
Added by Lucian Velea
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Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

quote by Robert Orben
Added by Lucian Velea
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