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Robert Benchley

Streets full of water; please advise.

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I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

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Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

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Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

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Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

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The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

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