An image has stuck for most of my career and it isn't flattering.
I was a boy, suddenly treated like the men and expected to act like them.
A goal is a goal no matter which end it goes in. I'm pleased to get off the mark again.
We had been getting some bad results, now it is up to us to make up the ground and catch Manchester United.
It sounds mercenary and it smacks of rats leaving the sinking ship. But get real, when everyone is bailing out, you don't want to be the last man standing.
After taking temporary charge last season he took us from looking down at the fringes of another relegation scrap, to within a kick of getting into Europe.
When I got there, all the pasta and science stuff hadn't quite caught on in England - things that were perfectly acceptable then wouldn't be tolerated now.
I sometimes think I've needed a bit of an arm around me in my career - which I've not always got from certain managers and coaches who didn't understand me.
Maybe if I'd not been able to kick a ball it would have been different, but I doubt it because all my mates are decent blokes now, just normal fellas with families.
The treble parade would have been the most perfect moment of my footballing life, but for the two people standing behind me, clearly already plotting their next move.