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Phil Smith

I'm On A Diet

Oh body what have you done
I always fed you
Washed you
What is the meaning of this

You wanted fish and chips
You wanted pies
KFC McDonalds you got it
How could you do it to me

I gave up smoking for you
Bought bigger clothes
Worked out at the gym
You just ignored me

You grew hair on my back
My girth causes mirth
All saggy and fat
Now see what you get

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But I Caught Nine

She slammed the door
I'd heard it before
Every month she is cranky
This is that time

She'll be back
After a cuppa with mum
A wonderful woman
The peacemaker

I'd been fishing
They were biting
So I stayed a bit longer
I guess too long

But Honey I caught nine
You said you'd be home at one
I planned things for us
Now you ruined it

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Orchestrated Workplace

An equal opportunity employer
Their trades women and men
Work shoulder to shoulder
Each carrying their load
The metal shop works with brass
Results very rewarding

Labourers are always busy
Three or four different tasks
They have vital roles
Complementing the trades
Never any glory for them
Just constant action

The dress codes are strict
A bow tie and a suit
A very smart dress
No jeans or t shirts
The pants pulled up
Everybody neat and tidy

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Baby Boomers

They are the Baby Boomers
Born to reunited families
Split by the war
A baby boom
Felt around the World
They were to change humanity

1955 started a revolution
Their parent's music was boring
New music was jumping
They turned up the volume
Hips started to gyrate
Rock 'n' Roll was Satan's music

Slick hair swivelling hips
A southern boy from Tennessee
Was every father's nightmare
He was everywhere
Records TV and movies
Elvis Presley was king

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Sporting Australia

Since Archer won the first two
Melbourne Cups in 1860 and 61
The Stawell Gift debuted in 1875
We beat England at cricket in 1877
Sport has played a major role
In our lifestyles and leisure time

Harrison and Wills down in Melbourne
Developed a football code in 1858
That became a national passion
Only fairies play aerial ping pong
Said the blokes from the north
Through broken teeth and noses

The Don, Sir Donald Bradman
Heads a list of batsmen
Who terrorised the World's best bowlers
Lillee and Thompson scared many openers
While Warnie mesmerised many others
As Australia ruled World cricket

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