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Nikki Cuthbert

Falling

I never meant for it to happen

I never meant to feel this way

I always thought I was unable

My heart was locked, feelings kept at bay

I couldnt help it, I was falling

It happened all on its own

I never meant for it to happen

Falling was my unknown

I fell wholeheartedly

Tripped an kissed the deck

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A Mothers Grief

I`m in no where land

so empty, so bland

Worst nightmare I ever had,

its so evil, so very bad.

I`m screaming loud inside,

want to run, want to hide

No sound, no tears complete disbelief,

this is me, a mothers grief.

My baby died, you see,

it means he`ll never be.

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Silence Misquoted

I begged without knowing for your love as a child

I tried to be good, quiet, behave, but for want of a word I was wild.

If you`d asked or questioned or even tried to understand

Maybe taken me in your arms, or held my hand.

If only you`d talked to me, or tried to explain,

The silence was misquoted, it determined my blame.

My mind crushed, heartbroken, a child in care has nothing, no place.

Scared and abandoned, strangers invading my thoughts, my space

I struggled and made lots of childish mistakes,

Learning the hard way. with lifes gives and takes.

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Time Doesn`t Heal

What rubbish that people say..

False hopes at the end of the day..

Tradegy strikes and it doesnt stop there..

No it holds on, lingers and breaths on your very air..

It changes everything, who you are, how you think, your essence, it is you..

With all the ifs, buts, n maybes, why mes and what to do..

Every wish, every dream, is nothing, moving on is harder than it seems.....

In body, in mind, in motion, watching others in envy, as you live your shattered dreams..

Its blatant and true over the years, that my babies have stayed just so..

My arms still ache to hold them, breathe in their scent n protect them, you know..

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Divorce.. To My Children I`m So Very Sorry

With every divorce there is marriage,

Are we talking love and fairy tales, horse and carriage.

Let me burst the bubble of those with fantasies,

It starts we, us and ours, and soon become I, my and me`s.

Marriage is hardwork, trying, and many a sacrifice,

Its two people who have loved, but soon learn to despise, to be precise.

But remember these words from a synical divorcee,

Your children will suffer, with your actions believe me.

I was vengeful and wanted my pound of flesh,

He was vicious and mean, creating an awful mess.

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