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Nicholson Baker

Rarely do pens go dry in restaurants.

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Shoes are the first adult machines we are given to master.

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I no longer want to live in an apartment furnished with forklifts and backhoes.

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In my case, adulthood itself was not an advance, although it was a useful waymark.

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Spoon the sauce over the ice cream. It will harden. This is what you have been working for.

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Haven't you felt a peculiar sort of worry about the chair in your living room that no one sits in?

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For me, as a beginning novelist, all other living writers form a control group for whom the world is a placebo.

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That was the problem with reading: you always had to pick up again at the very thing that had made you stop reading the day before.

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Until a friend or relative has applied a particular proverb to your own life, or until you've watched him apply the proverb to his own life, it has no power to sway you.

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