What I've Heard
I've heard the things you say.
Behind my back the games you play.
To my face the sweetest gaze.
When I'm gone a slanderess attack.
You think me stupid,
crazy and ugly too.
Laughing at me till your face is blue.
You make fun of the way I look at you.
Saying I'm awesomely creepy too.
It's just love I tried to share with you.
Obviously I'm a retarded fool.
When I ask you of these things you've said.
In angers rush you turn bright red.
Telling me what you really meant.
How I misunderstand in discontent.
Deep inside I see your lies.
Instead though I'll just play my bit.
Of the stupid fool who's messed it up.
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poem by Michael McParland
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Confused
I've loved you for so long.
The sweet sound of your voice sends bitter sweet vibrations coursing through my soul.
Many deep feelings it does cajoul.
My heart begins to stop,
and lonley tears begin to dropp
Confused I sit here now and cannot stop.
As I see the way you look and talk,
when you've decided to dropp in and sit a spell.
Sometimes I think all is well.
Then you tell me to go to hell.
Confusion abound as heaven and hell surround.
Confused as you whiser sweet nothings.
Then you kick me in the testes.
Confused about you I may be,
but about my feelings I'm surley not.
You can be a snot,
but love you less I do not.
So I end this little prose by saying forget all those other stupid schmoes.
For I'll love you till my dying day,
confused until I hear you say,
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poem by Michael McParland
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Silence
Silence builds within these walls.
Across my brain a dark spectre crawls.
I feel the maddness creeping in.
Or was it long ago it did begin?
I can not tell,
because I reside within my shell.
Where only silence calms infernal hell.
Internal silence to keep from breaking.
I've hurt enough.
I take refuge,
from all the pain I dealt to you.
A dark shadow I cast upon your life.
Now silence strikes,
and blindness hides the love we shared.
Myself I now despise.
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poem by Michael McParland
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Slideful Drinking
This flawed line of thinking,
always gets me to start drinking.
It never helps me find what I am seeking.
It just kills the dreams and starts the bleeding.
Destroying the hope for which I am pleading.
I need to stop this endless grieving.
With which I get is ceaseless drinking.
If I stop the fear will drop.
I'll finally make it to the top.
With faith and courage I'll never drop.
Then I take a drink and straight up flop.
Cast in the dungeons with a hopeless lot.
Desperate saddness is all I've got.
I must find the strength to go the lengths.
Find the will to live another day.
With firmness that I'll find my way.
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poem by Michael McParland
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Late
You got home late at night.
Then we had a rousing fight.
I know you're unfaithful don't deny it.
I've seen you two, I know what you do.
Do you take me for a fool?
I'm not blind.
I saw his hand on your behind.
Caressing with a tenderness.
That lovers share in splendedness.
I'm not deaf. I've heard you speak,
such filthy words my stomachs weak.
Now my eyes begin to leak.
He's had you oh so many times.
Have you any shame for your crimes.
I've seen the looks you pass.
Your secret love revealed at last.
Where did everything go so wrong?
When we've been together oh so long?
It's very late. You've had your date.
Now you'll lay in the bed you've made.
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poem by Michael McParland
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Sweet Girl
She looks so kind and sweet.
The kind of girl I'd love to meet.
But instead I'll just retreat.
She'd never want a guy like me,
so flawed and weak she'd think me a geek.
I smoke and drink and curse like hell.
She's pure of mouth, thought, and deed as well.
She'd only see me as a pure black seed.
If only though she'd take the time,
she'd know being with me is not a crime.
I'm sweet and kind and loving too.
She'd see I don't play the games those others do.
I'd give her love and truthful bliss.
She'd know it's true with just one kiss.
If only I had the guts to try,
I know we'd love eachother without a lie.
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poem by Michael McParland
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Uncertain
You tell me to find another.
The tone of your words say your uncertain.
The look you give as you say this,
tells me of your vaugeness.
I'm uncertain of why you do this.
When you know what there is between us.
Yet you choose the seperation.
I curse this uncertain turn of loneliness.
Is it because you're scared of what's so blatant?
The love we feel. Is it far too real?
You tell a lie, and then deny.
What I feel you hide inside.
I should believe the words you said.
Then I look and just see dread.
That your heart will never mend.
If we were and it ends.
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poem by Michael McParland
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War
Why did it all have to go so wrong?
Couldn't you see that I am the strong?
We went to war for familys sake.
Even though I never crossed them you treacherous snake.
You accused me of malicious attacks.
Now it's time to pay your tax.
I wanted peace, I wanted love.
Now I come at you as death from above.
If you've forgotten all the good there was.
Then through this war I'll give you scorched earth with just cause.
I'm stronger than you.
I'm tougher than you.
In this war there's nothing I won't do.
The dogs are unleashed.
They bark and they howl,
they growl like beasts Dantes' of Inferno hell,
they will take you down.
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poem by Michael McParland
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Stupid Dreams
Stupid dreams that make me scream.
Cause they're useless and hope is lean.
I've been so stupid with my schemes.
Sharing with you these hidden things.
How could I dare to hope you'd think,
that I was speacial when I'm a dink.
These stupid dreams built me up.
Fawning for the sweetest love.
Pure and clean just like a dove.
Held up in such high esteem,
I now see that he's your dream.
Alnog he came and played the game.
Now I'm left here full of shame.
Surrounded with these stupid shattered dreams..
They screwed my life and broke my heart.
Why on earth did they ever start?
Forget the love it's a useless bit.
Ignore it now and find true grit.
These stupid dreams such pain has lit.
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poem by Michael McParland
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I'm Lost
I'm lost and wander no hope to be found.
Since you left light is gone,
my life is bound.
To wallow in darkness,
asadness and fear.
Dispair has come and taken my will.
I sleep all day,
I never eat. I cry all day until I'm beat.
When at last I fall asleep,
all I see is you I'm at your feet.
Yet even in these dreams of lore,
I still find ways to lose you more.
No relief,
no sense I'll feel a forgiving hand.
I'm so damn tired,
in this race I'm broken and mired.
Please forgive me.
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poem by Michael McParland
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