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Melanie Walendowsky Baker

My Blindness & Warts

I saw in your eyes
A kindness of sorts.
Just be advised
Of my blindness and warts.

(Itajai – 24 January 2010)

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No One There

dark thoughts that
no one shares
i look the same so
no one cares.

i try to hide from
fears with tears
but no one sees
and no one hears.

(London,15 January,2004)

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An Iota

I know I’ll push back
what you push through.
It’s just who I am.
It’s just what I do.

So there’s no need to care
an iota for me.
You’d just waste your time
and I’ll always flee.

(Itajai – 24 January 2010)

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Fleeting Happiness

Happiness is fleeting
but you make me happy.
Happiness leaves
and Happy is sapping;

hopes I might have
with anyone at all.
Because Happy likes to go
every time I fall.

Happiness is fleeting
this we all know.
But happiness still leaves
so it's my turn to go.

(Itajaí - 10 July,2009)

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The Softness Inside

The softness wavers
that is deep inside.
It teeters and wobbles
it just wants to hide;

From moments like these
when hardness breaks,
when a shard slips through
and softness awakes.

And then hope's shard
with all its might,
could just forge through
and show me light.

(Itajai - 24 January,2010)

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Despair Comes Knocking

When despair comes knocking
There’s no one home
Gone out shopping
And not alone

Despair comes knocking
Every damn week
I try not to care
But he still leaves me weak

But despair comes knocking
Every single day
I keep shooing him off
And sending him away

Despair comes knocking
But what does he want?
Is he here to stay?
Or just here to taunt?

[...] Read more

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Something Amiss

the silence, the aching,
the numbness, the pain.

the wonder, the lightness
I try to regain.

they tell me I'm nice
I'm warm and I'm kind,

but there's something amiss
when I can't seem to find

that place within me
where calm resides,

where my heart is open
and not where it hides.

it'll allow me to hope
to love and to be,

[...] Read more

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Happiness Scares Me

I think happiness scares me
more than I know.
I don't want it to visit me
and then up and go.

I think I have tried
to keep it away.
I think I have tried
to not let it stay;

for more than a moment
- a moment is safe.
Then no expectations
will I need to face.

I fear more than happiness
- I fear it will go;
just when I want it
- just when I know;

[...] Read more

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