If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.
Mark Twain in Advice to Youth (1882)
Added by Lucian Velea
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Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
quote by Mark Twain
Added by Lucian Velea
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When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
quote by Mark Twain
Added by Lucian Velea
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October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
quote by Mark Twain
Added by Lucian Velea
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There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.
quote by Mark Twain
Added by Lucian Velea
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A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect house, perhaps, but how can it prove its title --from The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
quote by Mark Twain
Added by Lucian Velea
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In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
quote by Mark Twain
Added by Lucian Velea
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He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.
Mark Twain in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
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When I look back, the Garden is a dream to me. It was surpassingly beautiful, and now it is lost, and I shall not see it anymore. The Garden is lost, but I have found him, and am content.
Mark Twain in The Diaries of Adam and Eve (1904)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain in What Is Man? (1906)
Added by Lucian Velea
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