If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

quote by Lewis Grizzard
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!