You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

quote by Kinky Friedman
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I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

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May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

quote by Kinky Friedman
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Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.

quote by Kinky Friedman
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I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

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I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

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Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

quote by Kinky Friedman
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And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

quote by Kinky Friedman
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We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

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We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

quote by Kinky Friedman
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