The Insanity Within Control
i know im going to break.
when i just cant take it anymore.
the moment where i realize the blood isnt enough.
when the razor wont push me hard enough.
when the thoughts inside my head.
take control and leave me for dead.
Alone Is Better
theres rubble and ash where my soul used to be
put a chain and lock around my trust and threw
away the key.
because its happened before
and i cant go threw it anymore
because they will just leave
and i will be left alone to bleed.
Because Nothing Taste As Good As Skinny Feels
ice cream tastes good
but being able to see my ribs sounds better
a big bag of candy sounds good
but feeling my hip bones tastes better
fast food taste good
but a gap between my thighs sounds better
food is good
but being skinny is better
I can feel it building up inside me
Almost ready to explode
Walls are closing in on me and the air around me seems thinner every minute
Im being squeezed by my neck
I cant breath anymore
My lungs are like dried up prunes
Im being cornered by my feelings and i cant run away
I have given up
Those eyes, your eyes, babe
Like black holes, babe
Have i ever seen something so deadly sweet like your eyes, babe
That smile, your smile, love
Its fake, i can tell, love
Oh now what has gone and stolen your real smile, love
That reflection, your reflection, hun
You dont like your reflection, hun
So will you do something to fix that, hun
Will it bring back your real smile, love?
remember when you said your sorry for going to far?
remember when we carved eachothers name into our arms?
remember when we cuddled as we slept?
remember when we held hands wouldnt let go?
now you dont know when your going to far
now you just think we were crazy back then
now you face the other way as we sleep
now you barley hold my hand
now its like i dont even know you anymore.
i told myself i love him
i told myself he's not mean, they just don't see the real him...
i thought to myself if he's a mistake, he's one worth walking into
i thought he was perfect, the one, mine forever and ever....
now i realize...i was just blinded.....
BLINDED by all the love
BLINDED by all the sweet things he told me
BLINDED so much that couldn't see the real him that was smacking me in the face saying DONT YOU NOTICE ME? ! ?
i feel so stupid, falling for him...
i feel so stupid for think i actually loved him...
i feel so stupid for being so BLIND.