My Fear Takes Over My Depression
This depression causes me fear
causes the fear in life to come out
the fear or confusion and the fear of loss
I try hard not to think of fear and this depression
but somehow the depression lets the fear back into
my body and lets the fear take over the sadness
I would rather feel sadness, pain and anger than fear
the fear that I feel makes me feel weak and worthless
I try to love but the fear steps into place once again
I am afraid to love cause I fear hurt
it's gray all the time in my head
while I try to make it look like it is all sunshine and rainbows
on my face with the smile i put on for everyone
while on the inside I wanna cry!
cause the depression lets my past come back
the flashbacks of the unwanted
unwanted that I just want to go away
I try to work through the problems but I still cant get it all out
I wonder if I talk about every incident step by step detail by detail
and bassically relive it, if that will take it away!
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poem by Juliana Willsey
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In my thoguhts i am alone
In my thoughts i am alone
where i fear no one understands
the pain the illness the sadness
the nightly terrors i handle alone
this experience i cant handle of this illness
they call bipolar the way im defined or labled that
one can not see past to see who i am beyond the illness
who is scared of herself who is caring for others more than herself
who will do anything to make another happy
but for one to meet someone who is 'bipolar' thats what they see
unstable depressed manic angry mood swing mess
but what they dont understand is how stable is not in our world
and it doesnt define us it makes us who we are
this illness we battle alone cause unless you have it
you can never fully understand and even if you do i dont think
we can fully understand it...
alone in this illness
alone in these thoughts
alone is how i feel
i cry alone when i feel alone
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poem by Juliana Willsey
Added by Poetry Lover
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