I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'
quote by Jon Stewart
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I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
quote by Jon Stewart
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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
quote by Jon Stewart
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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
quote by Jon Stewart
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More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.
quote by Jon Stewart
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There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!
quote by Jon Stewart
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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
quote by Jon Stewart
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Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?
quote by Jon Stewart
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The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
quote by Jon Stewart
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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on ""Friends"" is.
quote by Jon Stewart
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