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Jon Stewart

Democracy works. Against us.

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Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

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I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

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If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

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Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

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I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

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