I use very few muscles at the best of times.

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Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!

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I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

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Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

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With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

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You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.

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I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

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We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.

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I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.

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It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

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