Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.

quote by Joel McHale
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If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.

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Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.

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I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.

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You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.

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Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.

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Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.

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My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.

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It's an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it up as you go along.

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In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

quote by Joel McHale
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