As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.

quote by Joe Bob Briggs
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If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it ""romance and adventure.""

quote by Joe Bob Briggs
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Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.

quote by Joe Bob Briggs
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In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions.

quote by Joe Bob Briggs
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The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.

quote by Joe Bob Briggs
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Sure-fire singles ad: Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with that special someone. Will obtain plastic surgery if necessary.

quote by Joe Bob Briggs
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