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Jerry Seinfeld

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

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There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."

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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

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The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

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A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

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To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

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Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld