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Jereldene Calvert

The Bathroom

Can I go to the bathroom?
What? No?
That's fine.
I can just bleed all over the chair.

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Nighttime

The world is dark
For we are dark
The night is long
For we are weak
They own us
Because we let them
Always emotional
Under the stars

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They

They took my heart
They took my hand
They took me to
The promised land
They set me free
They let me be
Now you must say
Goodbye to me

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Untitled

People stare because I laugh
When there's nothing to laugh about
I know that if I didn't laugh
The tears would all spill out.

You see me when I'm all alone
I cry and scream and shout
I hit the wall and broke my hand
It bled: I laughed out loud.

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Being Me

Bleeding gently
Screaming soft
No more breathing
Feeling lost

Lost and drifting
Through the sea
Thinking back to
Being me

I don't miss it.
Silence, sound.
Finding places
Feeling Drowned.

Safe and gentle
Death is free
And I don't miss it,
Being Me.

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Depression

Depression isn't something I like to talk about.
It always makes me feel small.

Depression can control me, for that I must be weak.
Surely I am no weaker than you?

Are you not affected by the soul-crushing darkness I have found?
You must be heartless.
If you don't feel it then, are you blind? Deaf? Free? Dead?
then that is how we differ.

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Hell

Come take my hand
I'll take you down
I'll take you round on
My merry-go-round

I'll make you sweat
I'll make you bleed
I'll make you want
I'll make you need

I'll let you fall to
The blackness of Hell
You ask for answers
But I'll never tell

So come take my hand
I'll let you fly
You'll take me up
Way into the sky

[...] Read more

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Where I Belong

I tried to be 'badass'
it didn't work
I tried to be good
it made my head hurt

I'm stuck in the middle
I'm somewhere between
I'm lost, not forgotten
a drama queen

you may say I'm lying
'cause I made the scars
it's 'cause I feel lonely
under the stars

once I ran, ran away
to a Wonderland world
I wasn't alone there.
I was among friends...

[...] Read more

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Things I Hate About You

I hate how you laugh when I cry.
I hate how you watch me bleed.
I hate how you cheat, then lie about it even when you know I know.
I hate how you give yourself scars 'just so we match'.
I hate how you care more about how you look than how you feel.
I hate the way you ask me if I'm OK and ignore when the answer is 'no'.
I hate how you kiss me in public, just so people see.
I hate how you run away when things get tough.
I hate when you dry my tears and say 'all better' when it's not.
I hate that you left me.

But most of all I hate the fact even with all this, I still cannot bring myself to hate you. Not really.

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