Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

quote by Jay Leno
Added by Lucian Velea
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Here's something to think about How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'

quote by Jay Leno
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The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

quote by Jay Leno
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Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

quote by Jay Leno
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How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

quote by Jay Leno
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If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

quote by Jay Leno
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New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

quote by Jay Leno
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

quote by Jay Leno
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The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

quote by Jay Leno
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The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular.

quote by Jay Leno
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