Politics is just show business for ugly people.
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch.
When we started this show, my hair was black and the president was white.
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.