Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing
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If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
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It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets his wings. But what they don't tell you is, every time you hear a mousetrap snap, an angel gets set on fire.
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Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too
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I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold a yard sale of murder weapons. Many people, for example, could probably use a cheap ice pick.
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Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
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When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I can't think of a single one, unless you count that rattlesnake that granted me all those wishes.
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You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of 'accidentally' brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress.
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If doctors ever tell you that you've 'flipped out,' don't believe them, and just keep on doing what you were doing, because something tells me 'the Man' is behind this.
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As the evening sun faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.
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